Things I don't care to do with my band, Waterboard

1. SWEET MYSPACE BRAH: I noticed a local metal band the other day went to great lengths to trick out their fucking myspace page. This is usually the norm, but it wouldn't bother me so much, if they hadn't fucking just went apeshit with style within a week of their conception. Lord, when style takes over purpose. If they spent half as much time on their music as they did changing the javascript on their fucking website, then they might have some actual good music.
2. MUSICAL (D)EVOLUTION: I realized that a lot of bands like Eighteen Visions had a really great start in their hardcore roots. The bands Lifeless EP is some of the best pissed off shit, I have ever heard. It isn't even really Eighteen Visions anymore at all! Same with Underoath. The band totally strayed away from it's first two cds "Acts of Depression" and "Cries of the Past". They now took the mainstream dick-smoker route. I get it after a certain amount of time you get bored with what your playing, but it almost feels like you've betrayed your fan base by giving them lackluster shitt music so you can satisfy that contract you have with your dickhead record label. If I feel like making totally different music then its going to be in a totally different band, fucking jesus.
3. GOT SOMETHING TO SAY to PREACHY to INAUGRAL SPEECH: Perfect example of this is Seven Generations. That fucking lead singer talks waaaaaaayyyyyy too much at his shows when he's on stage. Now I dont mind if a band takes a minute to say what they're about to restate the obvious cause apparently the vegan-straightedge shirts go unnoticed by some, but god-almighty don't take a half-hour to talk about sexism, and veganism. Shit, we're not coming to a pep rally, we already know what your about we see the peta2 flyers on your merch table. Do you even understand half the giant-ass words that come out of your mouth, cause I'm pretty sure you don't (I wanted to be an english teacher for awhile). Shut the fuck up, and play your set already sheesh. PS. Seven Generations is possibly one of the most overrated bands ever.

I Really Need a Hobby

Today, I was walking back to the base from some well deserved Jack-in-the-Boy, and I felt a wave of depression hit me, and I instantly thought I should just destroy the peace of the base and shoot the hell out of everyone and everything. This was immediately followed by a wave of cynicism...
I thought of the most horrible practicle joke I could think of. Here it is.
Visit Virginia Tech in a trench coat, combat boots, and just walk up to the front desk just looking all pissed off and shit. Stare the clerk in the eyes with malice, breathe in deep once, twice, three times and then abruptly say "Do you know if it's too late to sign up for next semester? I had a little trouble reading your brochure and..." just keep going with it. hahahaha.
Unfortunately, according to my friend, Johnny, the Virginia Tech guy was asian and didn't wear a trenchcoat. Way to ruin my fun, Johnny, you inconsiderate prick. It's not like it could've gone over badly whatsoever.

The Bostonian and his Testicles (an epic)

It's been a long time since I posted on this, due to some technical difficulties (I am lazy). Anyways I have story for you about one estranged bostonian, and his testicles.
So the other day after school we had an inspection, this kid named Enos (the bostonian) was a playing a well rounded game of squirrel tap against this other dude named Lafferty (totally fucking irish). Anyways I was talking to Lafferty who was trying to convince me to run up and kick Enos in the balls from behind, and I told him "no fuck that, I dont want to be a part of this" for I am smart and do not like being hit in the testicles...out of nowhere, minding my own business, Enos runs up and hits me in the testicles.
(alternate ending) I wished him very well for his cock-punch had relieved a cancerous tumor from my scrotum.
(Real Ending)I kick and punched Enos in his well guarded crotch until everyone told me to calm down. I asked him why the hell he punched me in the dick. He said "I know what you were doing. I saw you talking to Lafferty." I told him he was fucking retarded, and I told Lafferty I wanted no part of it. Lafferty confirmed. Enos then tries to make a truce, I reply with "fuck you, you hit me in the balls, and then want a truce. I owe you." I then spent the rest of the day, walking by Enos, flinching around Enos, make him fear my presence because of the impending doom that awaited his testicles.
Next day, during lunch break, we leave class. Enos is right behind me. We enter the stare well. I get about 6 steps down. His dick is about shoulder heighth, and to the right, just in perfect range of an extended right arm. the oppurtunity was too great. My arm cocked back and...BAM! Right in the testicles! "What's a challenge coin" was the last thing he uttered until I sent him into a whirlwind of fucking agony.
People at the bottom of the stairwell fucking heard my hand meet his balls. He collapsed on stairs, and layed in the feetle position. I looked at him and said as monotonous as possible "We're even now."
I almost thought I ruptured one of his testicles cause I didnt see him come down the stairwell. Nothing tastes better than revenge people. Pure unadulterated revenge. Testicles.
The End.

Half and Half

Swear to god, if I ever work as hard as I did today to watch better of the rest of the working party sit down and shoot the shit while I'm working as hard as I did I will put them through a wall. All in all, we moved 150 150lbs. lockers down from the 3rd deck of BEQ 533 so that they could prep it for the haunted house. Shittiest work ever.
But I did get my integrity shirt and my Narrows t=shirts today so thats a plus.

Is today a good day?

Today I get to take the Phase II test so if I pass I can wear civi clothes, and have over night liberty over the weekends. Yes I'm quite certain I wi8ll pass. But yeah it'll be weird to finally dress like my own person again...and I just got paid. I also got an eye examfor some new glasses today, I won't have to wear the BCG's(Birth Control Glasses) anymore. Hmmm maybe today is a good day.

Good People, Bad Ship VS. Bad People, Good Ship

Ok I'm starting to see why the equipment doesnt make the ship. I just moved to the USS Cole today from the Enterprise, and I absolutely love my new room and the leancy, BUT the people here are total shitbags. They are just negative as fuck. It's insane. I can't stop feeling like shit cause I'm practically rolling in it. Not to mention the majority acts like fucking high school kids. Back at the Enterprise I figured out how things work and I started to connect with people. We were watching RockNRolla and laughing in unison. I finally found common music tastes with some of the kids (they at least liked hatebreed), but now I'm fucking new again.
Here's a thought move out of your mediocre town where all your best friends, and famly live to make money and have nice things. It didnt matter that I didn't have money, I had respect and friends and I supposed they love me as much as I love them. It didnt matter that we didnt have the nicest of things we had eachother. I fucking miss that more that anything, I would burn my next pay check to show that appreciation (if it wasnt direct deposit).

Moving to a Different Ship

Fuck you USS Triton and your lack of air conditioning. I'm moving to the USS Cole tomorrow. I hear it's pretty relaxed minus the constant random drug tests, but that should be no problem for me...and I get a fridge and my own shower in my barracks so hell yeah

Reason for this Shit

Mainly It's cause I'm bored at "A" school, so now I will share thoughts via blogspot. Hopefully loaded with cynicism and humor to keep your attention, I used to have a profile under the name of "Awesome James" but since I was in Navy Bootcamp for 2 months I forgot the password and the fucking email that I used for it, so I am forced to create a new one.

Thats right I really did join the US Navy. Honestly, it hasn't been so bad. I got through the stressful 2 months of RTC (Recruit Training Command) with a skip in my step (not literally, my knees are creaming with tendonitus). First night was the worst, where the shift you from civilian life to military-emotional clusterfuck in approximately 6 seconds from when you get off the bus. My first thoughts when I stepped off that bus, "Ah shit, what did I get myself into".

I'm still thinking that, I really don't connect with people over here. I ache to get back to a hardcore show, preferably in my home state. The dudes here think that hardcore would include Disturb and Drowning pool and Fallout Boy. Poor souls.

Write me an email or something, I need to keep in touch with the outside world as much as possible.